


Stretching out final moments

by Winxhelina



Series: The complicated, difficult and occasionally very romantic relationship between Dr. Stephen Strange and Dr. Christine Palmer [3]
Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Astral Projection, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, F/M, Kissing, Love Confessions, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Romance, Slow Burn, Stephen is not yet dead, Time Travel, but I guess technically he will be soon, like really slow you can only tell if you read it as a series, stephen's POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-05-23 21:35:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14941805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winxhelina/pseuds/Winxhelina
Summary: Stephen knows his end is near. It's inevitable. The only question is if it's permanent. He sneaks his way down the timeline that is their only hope of salvation. This time, for personal reasons.Part of my Stephen and Christine series, but can be read as a stand alone.





	Stretching out final moments

It was terrifying. Not death, although granted, he should have been a bit more scared of that probably, but maybe it was the fact that he had already faced death so many times and died (technically) too. He was getting off topic. The point was, that the thought of leaving this world’s destiny in the hands of others was terrifying. The slim chance they had and only him knowing what it was, and no one else. He had to trust in his partners, friends and everyone else to do exactly the right thing without even knowing _what the right thing was._ It could all go wrong so easily. However, this was the only way it could go right, so he had to make that sacrifice.

He was reminded of Ancient One’s death. Of her stretching out time, her last moments just to hold on a bit longer and he felt tempted to do the same. After all, this could all blow up to their faces really easily. It was a risk of course, to temper with time, but then it was not even the first or the biggest one he had to take today and honestly he thought that more good had come from him tempering with time, than there had come bad.

Except when the moment would come in less than an hour he would no longer have the ability to slip through time as he wished. He knew he could slip away for a moment and no one would be any wiser. Hell, he had visited millions of alternative timelines before anyone even noticed. Going down just one for his own selfish needs, well, it was selfish, but he needed a breather before giving up his stone and his life, possibly for good. Who would blame him, really? He would appear to be out of it for less than a second. It would be fine.

Stephen found the one possible timeline where they won. It was technically possible there were more, seeing as there was an infinite number, but he knew going through another few million might make him mad. And he needed to stay sane.

He slipped into that possible future, looking for something, not a new strategy to win the war. No, this time he wasn’t thinking about the war at all. He was looking for someone. Someone far far from the battlefield. Christine. He just wanted to know if she made it. He wondered through the future of the hospital Christine worked at, but didn’t catch her there. Damn. She had to be in the half that survived. She had to. If anyone deserved to stay alive it was her.

Christine wasn’t in her flat either and Stephen, by then feeling a bit ill, went further forward in time still, to see if she would show up. She wasn’t there. Stephen fast-forwarded a bit more, beginning to lose hope. Could it really be that they both had a 50/50 chance and they both took the short end of the stick? Stephen was so stuck in his own worries that he didn’t even notice at first when Christine appeared on her bed, crying. Time slowed at his will: “Where were you for so long?” Stephen whispered. Time had slowed to its normal pace and he could hear her sob, terrible broken sobs pierced the silence. He wondered how long she had been lying there crying. Who had she lost? Someone from her family? They lived far and spoke seldom, but he knew she would still care. Still would be heartbroken over losing them.

He sat on her bed gently and watched her: “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. It would have been incredibly lucky for all of her loved ones to survive, but he would have wished that for her. Alas there was no method in Thanos’s killing and Stephen had yet to figure out how he felt about that.

Christine had stilled in her bed, no more sobs, she just quietly laid there. Stephen reached out to touch her hair, knowing he couldn’t really, unattached from this world, but it still felt like a nice gesture: “I’m glad you made it still.” 

He could see her whole body tensing, could see her slowly moving herself and then turning to face him, her eyes widened at the sight of him and his did too as he realized she could see him.

She screamed and pulled away, the reaction was a bit offensive, but understandable: “Stephen?! A-are we going – am I going nuts or – are you a ghost?”

“Neither actually,” he said, a bit smugly.

“But this is a magic thing?”

“It’s a magic thing,” he smiled: “So you can see and hear me. Interesting.”

“Interesting?!” She shouted: “Stephen you’re dead and all you say is that it’s _interesting_ I can see you? God, I don’t know whether I want to hug you or throw things at you!”

“I’m afraid you can do neither. My body isn’t actually here. I’m not corporal,” he pointed out, softly, a bit sadly.

She still had to try it out through. She reached out to touch his hand, no longer shaking in its current form, unlike hers at the moment. Her fingers fell through his sure enough and she brought her hand to her lips, looking as through she might burst out to tears again: “You’re dead, Stephen! God, you’re dead…,” she breathed, trying to wrap her mind around it: “But you said you’re not a ghost?”

“No. I’m only dead from your perspective. From mine I still have about an hour left, I skipped forward in time to see – to see if you made it.” 

She was clearly moved by this admission, but only for a moment, before something caught up with her: “You knew you would die?” 

“Yes. I’m afraid there is no other way.”

“None? None at all?! There has to be. ”

“This is the only reality I found in which we eventually defeat Thanos, actually,” Stephen got up:”Damn, hold on a sec.” 

He was only out of it for only a moment, but Christine was screaming his name when he returned, begging her to come back. He brought a finger to his lips and hushed her: “Shh, I was worried that in talking to you I might have mucked up this timeline too. Gosh, I couldn’t handle another million of them now,” he sighed falling back to her bed: “But it seems to be fine. Still. Can you not tell anyone I told you any of this? Don’t speak of this. Just in case. The faith of the universe might depend on it."

“No pressure there, then,” she said dryly. She was trying to get as close to him as possible. He could see her frustration, her needing to seek comfort from a body that was not there.

“I’m sorry, I know this is imperfect.”

“It’s fine,” she lied.

“You’re shaking. Are you going into shock?” 

“No, no, just a bit overemotional here,” she forced a smile and looked into his eyes, the gaze was intense and Stephen wondered if she was trying to make up for the lack of physical touch.

“How come you can sit on the bed, but not touch me? What are the rules here?”

Stephen snorted: “No idea. It’s all stupid. Larger objects seem to be - not moveable always, but I can interact with larger things to an extent.”

“Isn’t there any way for us to...?”

“I think – I think if you were in your astral projection too. Maybe. I certainly fought some of them before. Haven’t tried hugging or kissing, but it should work. In theory.”

“Right. Guess I’ll need to take some books out of the Sanctum and learn to do that then,” Christine said and she sounded very serious and practical about that, a bit like she was talking about having to take out the trash or doing the taxes.

“There’s really no need. I need to go. Face my death and all,” he tried to sound as nonchalant as humanly possible about it: “And you know, if it all works out and the universe is saved then I’ll be back and there is no need.”

She nodded: “But this is the right timeline, right? It will here.”

“Unless I just screwed up the universe by talking to you, but yes – I went ahead and looked and it still works out. In this one. Out of the 14 million I visited. So maybe this was already part of it too. Maybe I was supposed to talk to you. Maybe that’s an important factor and I wasn’t looking for it. Maybe this was all supposed to happen and that’s why nothing is messed up,” Stephen looked like he was getting a headache and his head wasn’t even really there: “Time is tricky like that. Sometimes I feel like it’s controlling me and not the other way around when I do this.”

“You visited _14 million universes?”_ Christine repeated, sounding both shocked and concerned.

“Six hundred and five. Alternative futures.”

“Oh. That’s still _a lot.”_  

“No. 14 million six hundred and five.”

There was a heavy pause.

“How’s that?”

"Physically, much easier than you'd think. Emotionally, it's  _exhausting,_ "

Christine's eyes were filled with warmth, softness and understanding that was impossible for Stephen to comprehend, because really, due to the uniqueness of his situation, no one could understand him:"I'm sending you to see a therapist when this is all over," she teased. 

"Please don't. I think I know enough psychology to handle it, besides I don't think most people, even therapists, would handle the truth as well as you have."

"You think I'm handling it well?" she asked, disbelieving. 

"Extremely."

Christine smiled and fell silent for a moment

"Tell you what," Stephen began:"Once this is all over. I think if I could just come here and talk about it to you that would be excellent therapy. But I won't do that if you think it's more than you want to know."

"It isn't," Christine said quickly, but she wasn't looking at Stephen:"You're always welcome. It just scares me that maybe you won't have a chance to."

"Your odds are good. Unless I've royally mucked up by now here somehow - this is the one time where we win."

"Yes, but for you... God you wouldn't operate with those odds."

"Never," Stephen agreed quietly:"But it's worth the risk now. This is half the universe we are talking about here." 

"I know, but I mean if you wanted to talk about it now."

"It's better if I don't think about it right now. I won't fall apart."

Christine fell quiet for a moment, but there was tension there and Stephen knew she wanted to ask something an thus waited, her question caught him a bit off guard:"Did we ever make it? In any of the universes? As - us. As a couple. Did we ever marry? Have children or... something. Or were we always doomed to separate?"

Stephen seemed flustered: "I haven't used it like that. I - it's for... serious stuff. Although I have slipped up and - tested a few things, but I've never looked into that."

Christine nodded:"Might be for the best. Not knowing these things."

"Yes," Stephen agreed:"I think - if I knew there was a way we would certainly end up happy together and then I would do everything exactly like that it would feel like I was manipulating you. And then if I wasn't doing it I would feel haunted by the possibility. I mean I would want to make you happy and be a perfect boyfriend if I knew how."

"Oh, Stephen," he could tell that she was moved, but she sounded so much in awe he had to lift his gaze and look. Then wished he hadn't. She was leaning towards him, her eyes pouring into his and there was so much emotion there it nearly rendered him breathless. Her lips brushed against his, but he felt nothing and it seemed neither did she, for she said:"I would give anything to kiss you."

"If you still feel that way when you're back, we probably will. In your timeline I'll live." 

"And if you don't? If this won't be the one?"

"Then  _this_ will never happen. We'll never have this conversation."

"Odd," she remarked.

He snorted and wondered if she deliberately never called things he did "strange" around him:"Yeah."

"How long it took you to learn the Astral Projection thing?"

He was once again caught off guard, this time by her tone, she sounded very business-like:"Uhh. Like a week. I mean I had read about it a bit before, but sense I got the right books..."

"Give me two," she said determinedly. 

"What? Christine it's not that simple. It's not really something you should learn just  to kiss me. Something, I remind you, we haven't actually done recently at all." 

"It will be useful for other things." 

"Wong will never give you the correct books."

"I can persuade people better than you can," she said confidently.

"Christine..."

"Hey. What's the big deal? All you got to do is hop ahead a few weeks and then if I can't learn it in two weeks time, I'll let it be."

"Okay. Fine. Just don't tell Wong about this. About your reasons for doing this, I mean. He mustn't know."

"I promise I won't." 

Stephen nodded in agreement and got up, determined. With Thanos he had been looking for an outcome to the war, looking things at a very grand scheme, this felt different, more intimate and he felt he needed to approach it as such. Plus he only needed to turn time forward and not go somewhere else. So he was more careful turning forward the time, it felt more like fine-tuning, like fast forwarding an old VHS tape a bit, the picture still moving, just a lot quicker. He started on a bit of a slower pace and that's why he noticed Christine wasn't moving, at least not away from him, not as much as she should have. She was still looking at him, her lips moving too quickly for him to hear, so he slowed down again. 

"Sorry, what?"

Christine jumped:"You can hear me now again? I've spent nearly an hour shouting at you."

"Sorry, I was going to skip ahead two weeks. Like you wanted?"

"Ah. And all this time I'll have an unresponsive Stephen ghost standing by the foot of my bed?"

"Oh." He hadn't thought of that.

"Yes. Oh. Listen, I don't mind, but by the bed is a bit creepy. Maybe you should wait it out in the kitchen or living room? Maybe go sit down somewhere. Look like your meditating?"

"What if you have people over?"

"Half of the universe is dead and I will be studying. No time to have guests."

"All right," Stephen agreed:"I'll go sit in the kitchen. Talk to you in two weeks."

"Talk to you in two weeks," Christine agreed. 

Stephen went and sat in the kitchen by the dining table Christine usually ate at. This seemed like a colossally bad idea, but it was what she wanted and he wasn't quite ready to go back to his reality either, he welcomed the possibility of a few more moments in Christine's company. He turned forward the clock and watched the sun set, the darkness fall over New York and then the sun rise again a bit later. Then he turned to watch Christine who was practically flying through the room on super speed. He considered slowing time down a bit to be able to look at her better, but she was already gone, had grabbed her coat and vanished and then the world in the small flat stood still for a while, it seemed like a long time even to Stephen and he sped things up. He soon noticed books appear on the table top next to him and they were the right ones for her studies and he looked down at them and smiled at them. Christine was right. She was more persuasive. He looked up to see where she was, but she was gone again. Night time had already arrived. He looked back down. There was a note-it on the books. Had it been there before? What time was it? He looked up. It seemed to be daytime again. Christine must have already left for work, as the flat was quiet and unmoving. Stephen let the time flow naturally for a moment to confirm. Yes, all was quiet aside from the sounds that could be heard outside. It was almost peaceful. He didn't indulge. Couldn't. He was already indulging in all of this far too much. There was a mug next to him. Was that where Christine had drank from? No there was another cup across the table by the other chair. He smirked, fast forwarded, then slowed time to it's natural pace once Christine flashed by his eyes. 

"Did you make me coffee?"

Christine nearly dropped her takeaway food. It was from the organic vegan place he didn't like. Everything tasted too raw and bland there.

"What?" she turned:"You're talking to me?"

"Yes. Did you make me coffee? In the morning before you left?"

Her expression turned into something soft and warm:"Oh. Yes. I was just kind of sleepy and I didn't think. You were there so..."

"Well, don't waste any of that takeaway on me. I don't like the way they make their hummus. Or steam their rice."

"You don't like their steamed rice, because it's _steamed_ not fried."

"Yes, well, I can't eat, so right now you'd just be ruining the furniture."

She laughed:"Yeah," and turned to plate up food for herself. Stephen turned forward the time. She studied over the books and Stephen secretly hoped she would get food on them and get in trouble with Wong like he had. She didn't. She looked pained though, like she was struggling and eventually Stephen noticed that she had buried her face in her hands and no longer moved. 

"Christine."

No reply. Yet he was sure time moved normally.

"Christine!" 

She jumped up:"Yes, what?!"

He smiled:"Go to bed. You need sleep,"

She smiled and nodded slowly as she got up:"Yes, Stephen. Thank you. Good night, Stephen."

"Good night, Christine."

Everything sped up again. Christine flew through the room in the morning, stayed away by day, came home with some ready-to-eat meal much later, sat next to him by the table and studied. Hard. He could tell. She was taking notes at the speed of light, pages of complicated books flew by, she was even looking stuff up online. Translations he guessed. She already looked too tired for his liking. 

"You don't have to do this, you know. It's fine," he said softly and then quietly added:"I should go."

She looked up, glared at him:"Shut up." 

He did. Time flew by again. She went to bed and then was up again, almost in an instant. Then she was gone. Stephen looked down at himself. There was a pile of clothes on his lap, or rather on the chair where he sat. She appeared again a few moments later.

"Did you throw your shirts at me?" 

Christine looked confused for a moment, then embarrassed:"Oh, yes. Sorry. I must have in a hurry in the morning."

She reached out to his lap and that was even more awkward, because she was putting her hand where his crotch would be. She blushed and apologised.

"It's fine." 

He moved on in time. She studied. Went to bed. Got up again. He felt a little bad, but she seemed determined and he knew what that was like. He could sympathise with that. That feeling of goal-mindedness. She came home, ate (made dinner herself this time, pasta and carbonara sauce. He always had loved the way he made it. It was delicious.) He almost wished she would put a plate out for him. She didn't. She studied after dinner. Then went to bed.

The next evening she was studying by the telly. Even fast forwarding Stephen could tell she was spending more time looking at the film than at the books. 

"You know you can just watch the film if you'd like."

She jumped. He supposed for her they hadn't talked over 24 hours. She smiled at the sight of him:"No, no, I'm studying."

"Watch the film. You deserve a break." 

"I suppose it resonates with me."

"What? The film?"

"Yes. It's about this couple. They live in a different time. Two years apart, but the guy was an architect and his dad built the house they both lived in. In different times. And now they communicated with this magical mail box. It's like a portal. Come watch it with me."

He smiled:"I think it might hit a little too close to home. I'll pass."

"Come on. At least pretend to watch it with me. Come sit with me and roll by it." 

He got up and sat next to her on the sofa and let the time "roll by" as she said. He didn't watch the film, but he saw her cry at it. He didn't want to see that so he closed his eyes. He wondered what the movie characters ended up like? Were they forever separated by the cruelty of time? He didn't want to know. 

Christine wasn't home when he opened his eyes and he decided he better go and sit by the kitchen table before she got home. When she did she sat closer than usual. At one point Stephen caught her smiling at him. It was only a brief moment for him, but must have been ages for her. He smiled back and wondered if he had managed to do it in time. She left for bed shortly afterwards. She hadn't been eating. It worried him, but he said nothing.  

The next morning Christine walked around in nothing, but her underwear and it took Stephen all of his will power not to make the time go very _very_ slowly as she sat down to eat her porridge. He felt a bit like a pervert even thinking about it and thus sped through the morning much faster than usual and therefore he missed something very important that happened that morning, but he hadn't missed something else and therefore spoke when Christine came home that evening. 

"Do you not take any days off at all anymore?"

She jumped a little again, but caught on: "Sorry. I - some people are not handling all the deaths that have occurred all that well and others are - well, dead." 

"Take some time off. You're pushing yourself too hard." 

She smiled:"I'm fine. I'm better than most. I still have you. In a way."

"But you're also studying. It's too much."

"I have a few days off now. Spend them with me?" There was so much hope in her voice. It hurt:"We can just chill."

"I can't Christine. This is just a moment for me, but I shouldn't be doing this either. I'm just delaying my own death. It's unhealthy. I should stop." 

"It's normal not to want to die, Stephen," she said seriously: "I still have six days. Give me my six days." 

"Okay. Just rest."

"I will. Tomorrow."

She did. She slept longer. Then she got up and drank coffee in her white robe and studied. She wasn't eating again and Stephen decided to say something, but was caught off guard by the words he heard as time slowed. 

"But how do I know I'm really that Christine, Stephen?" 

"Are you - talking to me?"

She looked up and smiled:"Yes."

"But I can't hear you when you speak to me while I turn forward time."

She grinned, her smile huge and pleased:"I know!"

"That's just unfair!" he protested:"...You should eat something,"

"Oh, Yes..."

Pleased that Christine got up to eat, Stephen moved time forward again. She was around more today. It somehow hurt watch her pass by so quickly, staying around him, but also somehow disappearing, They talked a few times in the evening. Stephen told him things he had never told anyone. It was probably their longest talk in their two weeks and it felt very nice, but at the same time it didn't make the hurtful feeling go away. He still felt - unattached. 

She went out the next day and Stephen noticed it. The important thing that happened again. He wasn't quite sure of it happening, but he thought Christine kissed him on the cheek before leaving. Not like he could actually feel it. She came home earlier than usual. In fact she came back almost instantly. Shopping, Stephen decided as he watched her hoover the carpet quickly. And then she was drinking wine. And then she was studying again. (That couldn't have been wise.) And then she soon went to bed. 

The next day it happened again. Stephen knew to wait for it this time. He slowed the time, just before she left. Christine was grabbing her coat, and then her keys and then she smiled and looked at Stephen and pressed her lips to his cheek:"Good bye, my ghost boy. Have a nice day. I love you." It was teasing and soft and warm and heartfelt.

And that moment was to Stephen no different than the one when The Ancient One had shown him the true extent of her powers, the true extent of the universe. World seemed to shake and Stephen literally lost track of time and he feared his control of time would collapse completely and he would find himself at the battlefield where his body still was and in an instant he was far enough into the future to see if Thanos's plan had been ruined still, because surely, this much have changed  ** _everything in the whole world._** Except it hadn't. The outcome was still the same and that was both a relief and a source of great confusion. How could this not matter? Was this how it was meant to be then? From the start? He had known of course that Christine had once loved him, hoped that maybe she still did, but to hear it was something else.

He got his grip on time back and tried to settle himself in more or less the right place. He wanted the two weeks to be over with. He couldn't do this anymore. He tried to find the right day, but it was hard to tell. He paused on a morning. Christine was home. In a different outfit than he had seen him. This could be it. 

"How many days?" he mumbled. He felt dizzy.

"Huh?" 

"What day is it?!" he snapped:"I get a little mixed up," he added more apologetically. 

"It's Friday. Um - Day 12. I still have two to go."

"Ah."

She frowned, deeply :"You okay?"

"Yes," he lied and moved on, slowly, so he wouldn't miss the kiss. Her lips were pressed against his now and he tried to kiss back, but he didn't think she noticed at all. She smiled and pulled back:"Good bye."

"Have a good day. Don't overwork."

Her eyes widened in surprise and she blushed, but also smiled:"Right, er, thank you." 

He moved on, wondering if he had made a mistake.

"I lied," he said the first thing when he caught her home that evening, although by the looks of it she had been there for a while. 

"Huh?"

"In the morning, when you asked if I was fine. I said I was. I lied. I can't do this anymore. "

"It's just two more days and I have tomorrow off and I feel so close - "

"I can't!" he cut her off, with a shout:"I can't watch you fly by me like that. I can't stand standing still in your life while you fly by me. Only getting glimpses. I can't. I thought I was strong enough. I thought this was better than - not having it at all and I guess it is, but it still hurts and I can't take it. It's too much. I need to go and do what I have to do."

She looked taken aback, but there was also understanding there:"Okay. Okay. That's okay, Stephen."

"Is it?"

"Yes, I thought this was what you wanted..." 

She sounds hurt now and he can't stand it:"It is, I do want to be with you. I don't want to let go and leave and think that this is probably the last time I'll ever see you. But this - this is just stretching out my final moments. I can stretch them, but that's still all they are, just final moments." 

"I know, this isn't really living. But it's better than death."

Stephen was once again stuck by how perfect Christine was, by how she could understand feelings he had he couldn't even put into words: "Yes. I do love being with you in any kind of form and it's better than nothing, but it's still... awful. I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"Is it really?" 

"Yes, of course. Like you said, if this is happening for me then I'm lucky, because that means we'll probably win. I just wanted you to have something nice to... go on... A proper kiss."

Stephen relaxed: "You are an extraordinary woman Dr. Christine Palmer. You really don't have a selfish bone in your body."

She smiled:" I know," she grinned:"Although I'd be lying if I said I haven't enjoyed having you here. In some form or another," she added more seriously, before she walked up to him, pressing lips he couldn't feel against thin air shaped like Stephen:"Good luck. When you come back teach me more about this Astral Projection."

"I will," Stephen promised:"Good Bye," he said and returned to his body. 

**Author's Note:**

> The movie Christine watches is "The Lake House." Watch it. It's amazing.
> 
> I kind of want to write a Christine POV version of this story as well and I wrote this with that in mind. What do you think? Do you want read that version too? It already exists in my head.


End file.
